I cannot believe it has been 10 months since I’ve posted here. I have so much to share, so many stories, so many pictures – and I will get back into that now.
We’re still here in Newfoundland. The adventure didn’t stop… but I had given up on the adventure. I had thrown my hands up in the air, and quit. I will be the first to admit that I hit a very low point in my life. After my friend Laura left, and then especially after my parents left — things were just awful. I wanted nothing to do with the adventure. I wanted nothing to do with this place. I wanted nothing to do with this lifestyle. I didn’t want to ride the rollercoaster. I just wanted OFF.
It is very difficult to change so many things all at one time. I was finding it particularly difficult, and wasn’t dealing with it at all well. We were (and still are to some degree!) dealing with some financial woes, part in parcel to starting a new business, yes — but not something we’ve ever had to struggle with to this degree before. I was missing my family VERY much (still am). I was feeling very isolated. I was struggling with the school and getting things set up for Nathan. We were dealing with an Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis for Nathan (FINALLY), and the people in our lives who’ve chosen to back off because of their lack of desire to learn, understand, accept and help. I was struggling with the new balance, or lack thereof, in our family life.
This led me into a dark tunnel, and one I was trapped in for a long time. Too long.
I’m happy to report that I’m feeling much better. There was a time that I pondered leaving… packing up my bags, and the kids stuff, and saying goodbye to this place. But, I couldn’t quit my family, I couldn’t quit our life, and most of all — I couldn’t quit my bestfriend, my love, my husband.
Nothing is perfect now — no magic wand was waved to make things all better. I still struggle with isolation at times. I still have moments where how much I miss my family overwhelms me to tears. There are certainly still times when I wonder if we’ll have enough money to eat tomorrow 🙂 But, we’re taking things one day at a time now, and we’re all — the four of us — doing it TOGETHER. Jody and I have a renewed partnership with each other, as a couple, as parents, as friends. We are trying our best to enjoy the adventure… even all the little ups and downs that are inevitable.
What does the future hold? I don’t think either of us know 🙂 But for now, we’re still here. Still in Newfoundland. We’ve readjusted some priorities, we’ve solidified our beliefs, and chosen to refocus our energies and our efforts to the people who matter the most in our lives… each other. The four people in this house are the ones that truly matter, and I think we lost sight of that for a while. The results have been amazing. We’re happy, we all love each other. I have helped the school come to a much better place with helping Nathan, and he’s doing a lot better at school. I’ve set up a few systems with Jody and the business, and it’s growing. Caleb is a happy, healthy little dude. We’ve all pulled together, and will ride the coaster a while longer, together 🙂